Blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really need to blog more. How I miss it so but nothing really funny has happened lately. I have been more ticked off lately about random stuff. Some of it might be bloggable material but I just haven't been in the mood. I will have to come up with a good one and post it soon. I will work on being funny more often that way I will have stuff to write about. Oh well...maybe I will see you here in a couple of months. Here's hoping.

Storytelling: The Peacock and Juno

Roberto, the rat, was tired of being hated by man and beast. He despised having to scamper in the shadows to hide his hideous face. He did not understand why people were so afraid of him. Sure he was scruffy and had a long tail, but so do most dogs. He was not slimy like a snake, nor did he have fangs. Maybe it was his taste for garbage that offended them. Did they not realize he was just trying to keep the kingdom clean?
One day, while rummaging through the garbage, he found an odd looking gravy boat. Loving gravy, he decided to open it. It was not too long after picking it up that it began to shake and spew smoke. From the smoke appeared a funny figure. Roberto recognized the figure right away, it was a genie. It must have been his lucky day, for we all know that a genie equals wishes. A bounding voice came out of the smoke “Hello there Rat! How may I help you? Would you like a free wish?” Roberto quickly accepted the genie’s offer and requested to be turned into the most magnificent creature that ever existed. “As you wish,” said the genie and Roberto was immediately transformed.
Roberto was very excited and asked the genie for a mirror. What he saw nearly made him faint. In place of his long grey tail was not one, but eight pristine plumes. The plumes shimmered like emeralds and sapphires in the sun. He was truly glorious. Even his strut had an air of regalness to it. He was no longer an ugly rat but a prestigious peacock, undeniably a prince among birds.
He was now admired by all living creatures and had his pick among the peahens. He loved his new feathery attire and would strut around showing it off. Men from all around the world would come to paint his portrait. The king had ordered that his likeness become the symbol of the royal court and that he be protected by the law. Roberto, now had everything he ever desired. He was no longer feared, but loved. He was no longer disgusting, but stunningly handsome.
Later, he grew tired of being admired only for his exquisite physique and wanted something more. He remembered hearing the romantic odes of the nightingales and envied their extraordinary voices. He then had an idea and went and retrieved the lamp. With a little rub and a spit shine he summoned the genie. “What do you want? I was trying to take a nap. Doesn’t anyone ring the doorbell anymore?” said the genie. Roberto answered, “I wish I had the voice of a nightingale.” The genie quickly quipped, “ You want a wish? I already granted your wish. Now go away.” Roberto was very confused. He was under the impression that all genies were required to grant three wishes. He was positive it was written in the Genie Handbook. “What do you mean you can’t fulfill my latest request? This is only my second wish and I should have three,” insisted Roberto. The genie grew angry and decided to teach Roberto a lesson. Poof! Roberto was promptly returned to his original rat form.
Moral: Greed is ugly. You can't always have everything.



Image Information: The Rat finds A Genie
Picture drawn by: Gina Smith

Link to the original story: The Peacock and Juno
Author’s Note: I changed the characters and embellished the overall story. I changed the peacock to a rat (who later turns into a peacock) and Juno into a genie. The basic premise is the same and the morals are very similar.

Storytelling: The Secret to Power

Compared to the average Jane, Gayle had everything a modern day woman could want. A successful career as a radio host and an editor for a popular magazine. So,why was she so depressed? That is exactly what Gayle was going to find out. She put on her best dress, her favorite pair of shoes and grabbed her purse. She was on her way to see Dr. Phil. If anyone could help her, it was him.

When Gayle arrived, Dr. Phil was in the middle of taping his show. Today’s episode was “Women Who Secretly Hate Their Best Friends.” Gayle found the show intriguing but couldn’t understand how anyone could hate their best friend. She absolutely loved her’s. They did everything together, well almost everything. There was that one time that her invitation to her bff’s book club got lost in the mail, but that was just an accident. At least that’s what her best friend told her. Anyway, after Dr. Phil had finished taping his show, they went to his office.
When they got there, Gayle started having second thoughts. Maybe it was just the big lunch she had. Maybe she should just go to a yoga class or maybe a spinning class. If she stayed, she would be just waisting Dr. Phil’s time. Plus, his bald head and mustache were kind of creepy. “Hello Gayle! What do I owe the pleasure?” questioned the good doctor. Gayle, lost in self-dialogue, just set there thinking. Suddenly, she was interrupted, “Gayle! Is everything OK?” inquired Dr. Phil. Gayle snapped out of her trance and replied, “Oh! um... I...uh...just wanted to tell you that I enjoyed the show. “Thanks Gayle, but I wasn’t born yesterday. I know something is wrong. I can’t help you until you admit you need help,” replied Dr. Phil. Gayle quickly snapped back, “I’m fine. I’m happier than ever. I get to play second fiddle to the most admired woman in the world. People would die to be me.” Image Information: Dr. Phil McGraw
Web Source: CBS News


“How’s that working for ya?” quipped Dr. Phil.


Annoyed by where this was going, Gayle stormed out. How dare he treat her like one of his idiot patients. However, she soon realized that she wasn’t really angry at Dr. Phil. She was just in denial of the real cause of her problems. “Oprah,” she muttered under her breath. All of this was her fault. Why did she have to be so famous? Why was she so powerful? “That’s it,” thought Gayle. She had to find out where that power came from. Oprah’s power was just too unnatural. She must have had help. God, aliens, or the devil? Any one of them could have granted her the power. Gayle was determined to get to the bottom of this mystery.



Image Information: Gayle King
Web Source: Entertainment Tonight


The next day, Gayle came up with a plan. She threw on her black trench coat, a hat, and sunglasses and drove across town to a spooky old house. In the house, lived a drug dealer. He sold black market drugs. “What can I do ya for?” the toothless man uttered. Gayle pointed at a vial on the top shelf of the cabinet. “Are you sure? That one is um....uh...Oh well business is business. Here you go.” smirked the dealer. Gayle cautiously handed over the money and grabbed the vial. It was perfect, exactly was she needed for her plan.
A few hours later, she went to visit Oprah. Oprah gladly welcomed her in and the two friends chatted. Gayle began by telling Oprah about her visit to Dr. Phil’s. “Can you believe that there are women out there that are jealous of their best friend? ” said Gayle. “Why Yes, that is hard to believe, but then again, there aren’t too many friendships like ours,” replied Oprah. After the conversation started to die down, Oprah sent Gayle to the kitchen for some tea. In the kitchen, Gayle asked Martha for a fresh pot. Martha told her she would bring it right out. “No, I will take it. Oprah and I are in the middle of business and we don’t want to be disturbed.” Gayle took the tea and proceeded down the hallway. She quickly slipped into the hall closet. Placing the tea on the ground, she reached into her pocket for the vial. She then poured it into Oprah’s cup. Picking up the tray, she exited the closet and brought it to Oprah. Oprah was too busy to notice that Gayle had brought the tea. All she knew was that it was there. She took a few sips and in a few minutes she began to feel lightheaded. She didn’t know what was wrong but she was in great pain and could hardly breathe. Gayle pretended to call 911 and rushed to Oprah’s aid. Oprah pleaded with Gayle to do something to relieve her pain. Gayle finally confessed to Oprah that she had poisoned her. “Why Gayle? Why would you do this? We have been friends forever. We are like sisters,” gasped Oprah. Gayle then took out another vial, “Relax! I’m not stupid. I brought the antidote. Reveal the source of your power and I will give it to you.” Oprah then begged Gayle to stop and think about what she was doing. Gayle just scoffed and demanded Oprah’s secret. Finally, Oprah gave in and divulged the secret of her power. “It was given to me by the Egyptian God, Ra. He whispered to me his secret name and endowed me with his power. My name is not really Oprah, It is Isis. I have reincarnated myself and rule today as the queen of television.” It was then that Oprah unveiled her true self. Gayle stood in awe and hastily administered the antidote. From that day on, Gayle King kept her mouth shut and settled into her role as Oprah’s second fiddle.

Image Information: Oprah Sarcophagus
Web Source: Leo Kesting Gallery


Link to Original Story: The Story of Ra

Author's Note: I changed the characters and set the story in modern day. The story still has the overall theme of betrayal and deception.

Storytelling: Neil's Big Idea

Neil came from a long line of businessmen. His great grandfather was an oil tycoon, his grandfather was the president of an automobile plant, and his father was the CEO of a lucrative computer company. At birth, he was given a Rolodex containing the business cards of every male member of his family, going back hundreds of years. This tradition was thought to be the key to the family’s success. Neil would only be able to add his card if the family Patriarch deemed him successful.

Image Information: Baby playing with Rolodex
Web Source: Abundance Bound System

Neil was expected to go to business school and study management, finance, and marketing. At minimum, he would have to attain his MBA. After college, he would be expected to climb the ranks of a prominent company. The only other option was to start a business from scratch. Neil received his MBA in 2004 from a very prestigious college and was offered a job immediately. However, he quickly declined and decided to pave his own way. He started investing in all types of ventures, eventually becoming partner in Daniel’s Big Top Circus and Jonah’s Water Park. He thought that these businesses would be guaranteed successes; however, reality struck when the big cats mauled the lion tamer and the water bill swallowed profit chances for the water park. What was he going to do? His family would surely disown him. He had to come up with a successful idea quick. It would only be a matter of time before his family found out about his failures. He thought and thought but couldn’t come up with a plan. All that thinking wore him out and he fell asleep. The next morning he woke up with a plan.



Image Information: Abandoned Water Park
Web Source: Barstow Reunion

Image Information: Lion eats Tamer
Web Source: Visualize Photos Around the Web

He knew the answers to his problems were located in his dream. He began to replay the dream over and over in his head. He saw a large boat and on that boat were tons of animals. There were monkeys, giraffes, elephants, zebras, rhinos and hippos. There were horses, pigs, cows, and chickens. Anything you could imagine and it was on that boat. He also saw people on this boat. Everyone was paired with their significant others; man and beast alike. He also saw a beautiful rainbow stretching over the boat. What a glorious scene. It had been such a marvelous dream that he would have been content never waking up. After daydreaming, he decided on his plan. He was going to start a new business. It was going to be spectacular. Neil was so excited that he rushed out the door.
His first stop was the lumber store. There he bought wood planks, nails, paint, table saw, hammer and other wood working supplies. The clerk checked him out and politely asked, “What are you building? A shed?” Neil just smiled and answered back, “ I am building a ship.” The clerk thought he was being a smart alec and just laughed. “No, I'm serious,” said Neil, “ I plan on building a great ship.” The clerk just smirked and said, “Well, good luck with that.” Neil gathered his materials and went on his way.
Next, he went and visited his old circus partner. “Hey Daniel, Do you still own all those animals?” asked Neil. “Why? Your not thinking of starting another circus, are you?” snapped Daniel. “ No, No, not a circus. I just need some animals, preferably things like lions,elephants and monkeys,” stated Neil. Daniel was concerned by his old friends antics. What did he need with animals? Their last involvement with animals was disastrous. “No, Neil, I sold them ,” claimed Daniel. Neil left very disappointed but not discouraged. He had another plan. He would put an ad in the paper. It read, “ Looking for animals. All types welcome! Please meet at wharf 10, ASAP!” After the ad was placed, he headed toward the marina.
Once there, he started construction on the boat. He was so excited about his new venture that he had it built in seven days. ( I know that seems impossible, but with that much adrenaline pumping through your veins anything is possible) A crowd had gathered to watch Neil build. People were in awe of the massive structure but didn’t understand Neil’s plight. They just saw him as a crazy eccentric. Also, among the crowd were the animals that had answered his ad. Giraffes, turtles, peacocks and more had arrived to find out what Neil wanted. Once, the construction was completed, Neil stood before the crowd and gave a speech. He told them of his magnificent idea and what he intended on doing. “I am building a cruise ship,” he said, “but not just any cruise ship. This cruise ship will be like a floating zoo. It will have two of every kind of animal (that I can find). Each room will have a different animal theme and will house the pair of animals matching that theme. This cruise will only be available to couples and I will name it Noah’s Two by Two Luxury Cruise.” When the speech was finished the crowd was overcome with silence. They had no idea what to think. This did not deter Neil. He escorted the animals to their suites and waited. Finally, couples started coming in droves. It was a giant success. People were dying to find out what Noah’s ark was like and they were willing to pay luxury prices. (Ok, so the rooms are a little bit cozier and each room includes room service but hey they get the general idea) Needless to say, Neil finally got his card put in that Rolodex


Image Information: Noah's Ark Cartoon Spoof
Web Source: CartoonStock

Image Information: Noah's Ark Cartoon
Web Source: CartoonStock


Author’s note: I retold the biblical account of Noah. Just like Noah, Neil is inspired to build a great ship; however, Neil does so because of a dream and not because of God. Also, both men construct their ships in order to escape disaster. Noah’s disaster is a great flood and Neil’s disaster is the threat of being disowned by his family. They are both viewed as crazy by their spectators.

Storytelling: Who is Cy Clops?

Image Information: Businessman with an eye patch
Web Source: Washington City Paper


Mr. Cy Clops was a very prominent business man, making the majority of his money by investing in textiles. Although, very successful Mr. Clops was known to be a recluse. In fact, he spent a large sum of money acquiring a private island, where he resided for most of the year. He had very few close associates at all. Mainly just his lawyer, accountant and personal assistant. Most of his business deals were orchestrated through e-mail or over the phone. No one knew the exact reason for his “hermit-like” ways but it was rumored that it had something to do with an injury he received in Vietnam.


Image Information: Accountant
Web Source: Beyond 50 Radio

During an interview, his accountant recalled a story that Cy had told him once. The story had to do with Cy’s days in the Marine Corps. It seems, that Mr. Clops joined the Marines during Vietnam and after endless days of trampling through the rice paddies, his worse nightmare came true. He came face to face with the enemy and during a struggle Cy made “eye” contact with the enemy’s bayonet. The incident left him blind in that eye and horribly disfigured. The accountant surmised that Cy must have not been able to deal with the endless stares and questions and quickly withdrew from society.




Image Information: Lawyer
Web Source: Phil's Stock World

Another account given by Mr. Clops’ lawyer, Mr. Telemus, also seems to support this rumor. He stated, that Mr. Clops did indeed wear an eye patch over his right eye. He also believed that Mr. Clops might suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. He has always been a little jumpy and his house was is always kept dark. “I always feel like I’m entering a cave,” stated Telemus, “the place just gives me the creeps. One day I was feeling brave and asked him about the patch. He just stared at me and mumbled the name Odis. His glare was icy and cold and I could feel it piercing through to my soul. I never brought it up again.”

Image Information: Personal Assistant
Web source: YPA

Mr. Clops’ assistant told a different story. “Mr. Clops is a gentle soul. He is just misunderstood. People cannot see beyond his appearance and that is why he locks himself away in that cave of a house; however, occasionally he will emerge from the darkness and go outside to the fields. See, Mr. Clops owns this island and there are over a dozen flocks of sheep and goats on this island. They are Mr. Clops' pride and joy and he loves to watch them scamper in the fields. I think it really brings him joy. It is the only time I see him smile,” said Mr. Shepherd.

Whatever the reason, Cy Clops is a very intriguing case. Given his level of isolation, it is truly amazing the amount of success he has enjoyed. How could a man seem so out of touch with society but reap one of its most prized benefits? Money. Why would someone with that much money withdraw from society. Surely, it could buy him all the friends he could ever desire. I guess we may never know the real story of Cy Clops but that won’t stop me from trying to find out. Oh yeah, and who is this Odis character and what does he have to do with Cy’s aloof behavior? Oh well, I will save those questions for another day. Wait! Wait! no I have an
idea. You could help me find the answers. Use your detective skills and see if you can find out what secrets Mr. Cy Clops is hiding. It is now up to you. Good Luck!!!!






Author's Note: My story is based on the story of Odysseus and Cyclops. However, my version just is about the cyclops in general. It gives the audience an interesting perspective of a modern day cyclops. I tried to use kind of a play on words by using Mr. Cy Clops as his name and not just calling him cyclops. It is supposed to be kind of reminiscent of the Noman in the Original Story. I also changed the setting to modern day and added some new characters. I have the characters tell their opinions and observations about the cyclops. I also give some of my own assumptions but at the end I leave it up to the reader. I think that is an interesting way to get the reader involved and get them to create their own story.

Storytelling : Echo's Canyon

Nathan’s family had just purchased a house. The property also included approximately 200 acres of surrounding land and supported a stream that ran through a canyon. Nathan’s mother and father had given him strict instructions not to play in the canyon; however, being a true boy, he soon found himself disobeying their orders and venturing down into it anyway. When he reached the bottom he was amazed by the many nooks and crevices that he found. He could imagine all the adventures he could have hiding and exploring each one of them. It didn’t take him long to try exactly that. He began climbing the rocky cliffs and worming his way through any spaces that he could find. He played for hours being everything from animals to pirates. As he was searching for treasure he came upon a cave. Thinking like all ye pirates think, about the prospects of treasure, he quickly ducked inside. Cupping his hands over his mouth he yelled, “Hello anyone here?” A voice answered back, “ here.” Nathan somewhat startled quickly asked, “Hey ye Scallywag, Where be me treasure?” The voice answered again, “Me treasure.” Nathan then became frightened and ran straight home. “Mom...Dad...Where are you,” shouted Nathan.“Over here son,” replied his parents. Still out of breath and gasping for air, Nathan tells them about the cave and the voice. “You mean to tell me that you went down into the canyon after I specifically told you not to?” asked Nathan’s father. “Yes, Dad, I was in the canyon but that is not important right now. There is someone in that cave. I swear to you that someone is down there.” Nathan’s mom just laughed, “Son, what are you talking about? I’m sure there is no one in that cave.” Nathan then told his mom how he was playing pirates and had called into the cave inquiring about his treasure. “I never expected a response,” said Nathan, “ I was just pretending. I said something like ‘where is my treasure’ and a voice responded ‘my treasure’,” said Nathan, “ I thought if I stayed any longer they would come out and fight me.” Nathan’s mom just smiled and gave her son a hug. “You are too funny. The voice you heard was just echo,” said Nathan’s Mom. “Echo? Who is Echo?” replied Nathan. His mom set him down and explained, “Echo is not a.....(before she could get out the rest she paused and rethought her answer)...Echo was a lady who use to live here many years ago.” Nathan was very interested to hear who this lady was and asked his mom to tell him the story. “OK, I will tell you the story of Echo...,” she began.

Image Information: Swallow Cave
Web Source: Hotel Club

Hundreds of years ago, before the canyon existed, lived a girl named Echo. It was her responsibility to bring water from the stream to the house. At first, she would just rush down and draw some water and then rush right back but as time passed that became harder and harder to do because the terrain was constantly changing due to the running water. Soon she began taking rests before heading back and each time the rests became longer and longer. She would bring a picnic lunch or fish or just sit and watch the animals play. She often would get sidetracked from her initial task and would spend her afternoon exploring the area. There came a point that she grew too old to climb the rocky path back to the house and she decided to just stay in a cave that she discovered in her youth. She absolutely loved the canyon and the stream and felt so much joy being that close to nature. She lived well into old age but eventually died inside the cave. Her body was absorbed into the rocks and all that was left of her was her spirit. That voice you heard today in the cave was her voice. She is still there today singing, laughing, and talking to her beloved canyon.


The next day, Nathan and his mom went to the cave and placed a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers at the entrance of the cave. They peeked inside and yelled, “Is Echo Here?” A voice answered, “Echo here” and Nathan and his mom just smiled.

Image Information: Wildflower bouquet
Web Source: Brocade Nashville

Author's Note: This story was inspired by the myth of Echo and Narcissus. I only retold the portion of how the echo came about. In the original story Juno makes it where Echo can only repeat what people say. She was punished for distracting Juno while Zeus had his fun. I changed pretty much everything. The only thing that really stayed the same was her name. The setting and the way the echo came about are different.

Storytelling: Good Intentions

Samantha was always gorgeous and the apple of her parents’ eye. At the age of three she had bright blue eyes and golden “Shirley Temple” curls. People always asked her parents if they ever considered entering her in pageants; however, her parents were avid about raising their daughter in a normal environment. They were very overprotective and had no interest in sharing their daughter with the world.
As she grew, the focus on her beauty increased and she could no longer go anywhere without soliciting unwanted attention from admirers. Although she was not allowed to date, boys would call her house hoping that her parents would find them worthy. Her dress and mannerisms were that of any normal teenage girl but her beauty surpassed that of all women in the town. Her parents became overwhelmed by the attention their daughter was receiving and decided to take action.
Drastic measures were the only thing that would enable her to live a normal life or at least what they considered to be normal. In the middle of the night they fled the only home they had ever known and relocated to a new place. The move was so abrupt that they left the majority of their possessions and only took a few necessities. She did not understand the haste of their actions and initially was bitter that they had ripped her away from her home and friends. Her bitterness turned to tears and she retreated to her room for several days. Her parents tried and tried to console her but nothing worked. They finally realized that they would be unable to sequester her from the world indefinitely; however, they would not allow the world to objectify their daughter.
The only way to protect their daughter would be to fight the cause of their suffering head on. They brought to her room good intentions, a razor, and several sharp blades. Next, they gently shaved their daughter’s head and for every lock that fell a matching tear was shed by her parents. After the deed was complete, they presented her with new clothes: a pair of loose fitting jeans, an over-sized shirt, a hoodie, gloves, work boots, and a baseball hat. She was not allowed to wear any form fitting garments and from now on she would go by the name Sam. The thought was that her new appearance and name would give the illusion that she was a boy and she would be able to live her life in peace. Sam honored her parents’ wishes and lived in this manner for the rest of her high school career. She spent the majority of her time reading books and doing school work. She was never asked to homecoming, prom or even on one single date. Her parent’s plan had worked. She would end up graduating at the top of her class and was accepted to a very prestigious university.

Image information: Bald girl
Web Source: Beauty and Bath

During college she still carried out her parents’ wishes. In order to keep up the masquerade she decided to live at home and attend the local college. Everyone just assumed that she was male and paid her no attention. She kept to her self and did not associate with her fellow classmates; however, this changed when one of her professors assigned groups for an upcoming project. She was partnered with a young man, named Max. Max was a strikingly handsome young man and was very easy to talk to. They became instant friends and Sam divulged to Max her deepest secret. Max was shocked but deeply relieved that his new friend was female; for he had been suppressing a deep attraction to Sam. The two became inseparable and soon were engaged. She knew that Max was the one because his love was not based on he beauty; however, she desperately wanted to embrace her femininity again.
The months leading up to the wedding could not pass fast enough for the couple. They waited with great anticipation for the day they would be husband a wife. Sam had planned a marvelous surprise for the occasion. She was going to grow her gorgeous hair back and display it for her husband on their wedding day; however, it was not as simple as Sam thought it would be. She tried ointments, creams, voodoo and anything else you could imagine but her hair would not grow back. Her mother and father blamed themselves and set out to buy the most magnificent wig. They commissioned the most beautiful maidens in the land and had them donate their luscious locks to the project. They then had the locks fashioned into the most glorious wig ever to be created and presented it to Sam... oops... I mean Samantha on her wedding day. She cherished the thought but refused to wear the wig. She wanted her own hair not an imitation, even if it was a gorgeous one. Disappointed, she walked down the aisle with a bald head. Samantha and Max lovingly said their vows and it was time for him to lift her veil and kiss the bride. When he did, he saw the most ravishing creature before him and the crowd gasped at the sight of Samantha’s glistening locks. Max was now married to the most beautiful women in the world and the two lived happily ever after.


Image Information: Pretty Bald Girl
Web Source: TV Squad
Author’s Note: My story this week was influenced by The Maiden with The Wooden Helmet. The premise of the story is pretty much the same. Both stories deal with a girl whose parents try to hide her beauty for the fear that the world will hurt her but in the end she still finds true love. I tried to give the story a more modern setting and make it more relatable to the reader. I also changed some of the facts of the story. The girl in my story doesn’t wear a helmet but instead has her head shaved. Also, her parents do not die. The endings are similar but changed to fit the story.